Every Trumper in Georgia liked Herschel a lot
But most voters in Georgia who voted did not!
They didn’t like Walker’s senatorial bid
Now please don’t ask us why,
Ask one of his kids!
It could be the voters knew Herschel was dumb
It could be he couldn’t add one and one
But I think that the most likely reason of all
May have been that his brain was
Two sizes too small
But whatever the reason, his math or his brain
Seeing Herschel in congress drove Georgians insane
Staring down at their ballots at his name on the page
Threw voters in Georgia into tantrums and rage!
For they knew that the Trumpers wanted this dope
To clog up the Senate with Republican votes
“And he’s spinning his lies!” they snarled with a grin
“They think that for Christmas that Herschel will win!
Then they said to themselves without one little doubt
“We’ll vote Warnock in, and vote Herschel out!”
For most Georgians knew if Herschel won with this ruse
He’d be voting with Graham, McConnell, and Cruz!
And they’ll screech and they’ll scream and make terrible noise
All the noise, all the noise, all the noise! Noise! Noise! Noise!
And they’ll scream and they’ll holler until we were deaf
About Biden’s agenda being way too far left
And they’ll scream and they’ll scream and they’ll scream, scream, scream, scream!
They would scream about laptops’
‘Till their heads swelled like yeast
Which was something Chuck Schumer
Couldn’t stand in the least!
And then there was something
Georgians liked least of all
Was how Herschel Walker
Would slither and crawl
And look at the camera
And lie to us all
He’d Lie! And He’d Lie!
And he’d lie, lie, lie, lie!
He’d lie about girlfriends, he’d lie about wives
He’d lie about children, and how he’s pro-life
Never paid for abortions, was a cop, and somehow
How a bull he once knew knocked up every cow!
He talked about werewolves, vampires, pronouns
While Graham and Cruz
Played his personal clowns
The more Georgian’s heard this Cuckoo bird sing
The more that they thought, “We must stop this whole thing!”
“Why for at least for a year we’ve put up with him now
“We must stop Herschel from winning
…..But HOW?
Then they got an idea, a terrific idea
Georgia voters got a wonderful, brilliant idea!
“We know what to do!” they said to themselves
And they pulled their car keys down from the shelves
Around all of Georgia
Their cars circled fast
Telling all Warnock voters
To get off their ass
Around the whole state they
Unfolded their plan
Pick up every voter from youngsters to grams
And give then a ride to their polling station
To save all our freedoms, to save our great nation!
They stuffed them in Chevys
And old Subarus
They stuffed them in pickups
One by one, two by two!
Then they went to the drive-in
And gave them all snacks
Pizza and soda
McMuffins, Big Macs
As they went to the polls
the caravan grew
For these Georgians, they knew
They knew what to do!
“Now we’ll all vote for Warnock!”
They said to loud cheers
And keep him in office
For another SIX YEARS!
As they all got in line, Herschel tugged at their sleeves
“Why vote for Warnock instead of for ME?!”
But the voters in line were so smart
and so slick
They gave him an answer, and gave it up quick!
“Why my little dumb snot,” voters said to the lad
“All the lights have gone out in your empty head!”
“So we’re sending you home to your nice Texas digs”
“To enjoy a great Christmas with your hundreds of kids!”
And the fib fooled poor Herschel as they patted his head
“Now go vote for Warnock, and then straight to bed!”
“And when you wake up this all will have passed”
“You can go back to Texas with your sorry ass!”
And when Hershel awoke and turned on his TV
There was Steve Kornacki on NBC
Declaring the winner
was Warnock, not he!
And what happened then…..?
Well…..in Georgia they say
Fox News pulled the plug
And called it a day.
And Americans thought something
They hadn’t before
Maybe Georgia isn’t so red anymore
Maybe Trumpism…perhaps…was a
Large oozing sore!”
And before Georgia voters turned off their TV’s
Kornacki left a present under their Christmas tree.
He gave his last total, just one more time
It was Dems 51, GOP 49!
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