The Clown Car Update for May 13, 2018

Posted: May 13, 2018 in New Post

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It seems like a year ago that Trump’s own legal team leaked a list of questions that were allegedly proposed by Robert Mueller.  It turned out that the questions were actually written by Trump’s own attorney,  Jay Sekulow in an attempt to scare Trump into backing down from an interview with the Special Counsel’s office. However, what was missing were the questions we at the Clown Car want to be answered. To remedy that situation, we prepared a list of questions we at the Clown Car Update would like Trump to answer:

At what point did you determine that being orange was an attractive look?

Have you ever watched “Orange Is the New Black”?

Did you ever misrepresent the size of your wealth or penis to get women to sleep with you?

When Stormy Daniels spanked you, did you wet yourself?

When Stormy Daniels spanked you, did she injure Devin Nunes?

Boxers, briefs, or very briefs?

After you had sex with Stormy Daniels, did she assist you in locating your penis afterward?

Here is a picture of Russian hookers performing a golden shower. Can you identify the fat bald guy sitting under the shower?

You claim to be a germaphobe. How do you account for Steven Miller?

Have you ever had sex with a Big Mac, Kentucky Fried Chicken leg, or Fish Fillet sandwich?

Did you disclose the receipt of gifts from your Happy Meals?

When you were with Rudy Giuliani in drag, did you ever grab his fake boobs or slip him the tongue? 

Have you ever masturbated to pictures of real billionaires?

Did you ever have a sexual relationship with Vladimir Putin? Jared Kushner? Ice Cream?

How much do you weigh? Are you willing to step on a scale for us?

Did you try to force AG Sessions to resign by threatening to burn down his tree?

Did you ever threaten AG Sessions with elficide?

Do you buy your suit pants at Duluth Trading Company?

Did you really think TY Cobb was Colonel Sanders?

Is it true that your staff wear raincoats when Rudy Giuliani is giving a presentation?

Have you ever tried penis enhancement products? Why do you think they don’t work for you?

Did you ever claim shrinkage? If so, was it to Rudy Giuliani?

 Can you touch your toes? When is the last time you have seen your penis?

Your hair flap, Super Glue or Flex tape?

Dr. Harold Bornstein: Real or a muppet?

On the Montreal Cognitive Test, is it true you could not identify your daughter Tiffany?

Of course, these are only a partial list. Many questions are still unanswered like where did Eric come from? What is your hair made of? Has Rudy Giuliani lost his mind or is he a military experiment gone bad? And the question of the year, do you prefer a striped or orange jumpsuit?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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