From Episode 300 of The Tim Corrimal Show (you can listen here) is this week’s Clown Car Update:
Our clown of the week is Anne Coulter, who you would recognize as that right wing stick figure with a lump in her throat. Posing as a journalist, she attacks anything she perceives as liberal from the New Deal to broccoli. Her latest target? That most liberal of sports, soccer. Quoting her, “Any growing interest in soccer can only be a sign of the nation’s moral decay.”
Here are just three of her many complaints about the World Cup Conspiracy:
(1) Individual achievement is not a big factor in soccer. Apparently, it isn’t a big factor in journalism either, as is witnessed daily on Fox News.
(2) The prospect of either personal humiliation or major injury is required to count as a sport. Well, that would make her opinion column an ESPN Classic .
(3) It’s foreign, like the metric system, which liberals also adore because it’s European. Well I dislike the metric system, am not a huge fan of soccer, AND dislike Ann Coulter, so maybe there is some common ground here.
She concludes with “I promise you: No American whose great-grandfather was born here is watching soccer.” I can also promise Ms. Coulter that no American whose great-grandfather passed along a double helix to his offspring pays any attention to anything Ann Coulter has to say.
I’m not sure why Anne has such a fixation on soccer. Maybe her parent never held her enough. Maybe they held their soccer ball too much. Or maybe it was that unfortunate incident when she swallowed a soccer ball resulting in that ugly lump in her throat. Whatever the reason. it has landed Anne Coulter in the Clown Car spotlight this week.