This week on Episode 307 of The Tim Corrimal Show, the Clown Car Driver of the Week is ex-governor of Virginia Bob McDonnell. Last year Gov. McDonnell and his wife were indicted for taking bribes from wealthy businessman Jonnie Williams who wanted the governor’s office to help promote his dietary supplement.
Now Bob’s defense this week centered on blaming his wife Maureen for the entire mess and that he was oblivious to his wife’s activities. After all, he was busy making sure the other women in Virginia were getting vaginal ultrasounds. So where did he get this defense? We need look no further than his favorite bedtime reading, the Bible. So here now is the Biblical version of the Bob McDonnell defense:
As Adam (Bob) was about to ascend to the governor’s office, Eve (Maureen) was starting to crack up. Although Adam did everything to make her happy, she ran up great credit card debt and had the couple on the brink of bankruptcy. She began to scream at Adam that she was naked and had nothing to wear. Although Adam pointed out that everyone on the planet was naked, it was to no avail, because Eve had already picked out a Louis Vuitton outfit. That’s when she texted the serpent (Williams) who offered her a dietary supplement. He told her that if she could convince Adam to promote it, the serpent would arrange a shopping trip to New York. So, that night, Eve convinced Adam to promote the supplement.
Adam not suspecting the serpent’s role in all this suddenly realized he was naked. So Eve gave him a Rolex to wear and he no longer felt naked. So off to New York they went in a fig leaf and a brand new Ferrari. Now Adam never knew that the watch and the car came from the serpent. All he knew was that Eve was finally happy. Then God, appearing as a federal prosecutor, informed Adam that what he and Eve did was wrong and their days of paradise were over. They were under indictment and would have to defend themselves by the sweet of their brows.
So the Biblical lesson here is simple; if you spend too much time worrying about other women’s vaginas, the one you should be most concerned about may be getting you indicted.