This week on Episode 354 of The Tim Corrimal Show, we investigate the case of: Shep Smith is missing. The Fox News anchor has not been seen since Friday. The FBI is investigating the disappearance and is interviewing several “persons of interest”. Agent John Kerber, while refusing to give details, told reporters that several people associated with Fox News and its viewership may have knowledge of the events leading to Mr. Smith’s disappearance. “The network is teeming with suspects”, Agent Kerber said, “and right now we are trying to sort them out so we can get to the interviews”. Some have speculated that Bill O’Reilly and Eric Bolling are targets of the investigation. Insiders have been reporting that both men have been acting strangely lately, but given their normal behavior, that is hard to determine.
Shep Smith first came under attack last month for criticizing Kentucky county clerk and noted adulterous bigot Kim Davis. Covering her release from jail, Smith noted “They set this up as a religious play again. This is the same crowd that says, ‘We don’t want Sharia law, don’t let them tell us what to do, keep their religion out of our lives and out of our government,’ “. Smith added, “This is not unprecedented. They did it when they said black and white people couldn’t marry, haters are gonna hate.”
And hate they did. Christians all over the Fox Nation called for his crucifixion. Reports that Shep was called in to the office of Roger Ailes spread across the gossip columns. Sources who talked to us on condition of anonymity tell us that he was threatened at that meeting. “If he didn’t fall back in line with the Fox News narrative, he would have to answer to the man himself, Bill O’Reilly.” After that meeting Mr. Smith was reportedly disciplined by making him watch Sean Hannity interview Clyde Bundy over and over again.
But on Thursday, Shep Smith violated his parole when covering Pope Francis’ speech to Congress. Giving his thoughts on the partisan reaction to the Pope’s speech, Shep had this to say: ” These are the five things that were on his and our president’s agenda. Caring for the marginalized and the poor — that’s now political. Advancing economic opportunity for all. Political? Serving as good stewards of the environment. Protecting religious minorities and promoting religious freedom globally. Welcoming [and] integrating immigrants and refugees globally. And that’s political?” He concluded “I think these were the teachings in the Bible of Jesus,” Smith said. “They’re the words of the pope, they’re the feelings of the president. And people who find themselves on the other side of that message should consult a mirror, “.
Really, Shep stepped in it this time. Implying that Jesus would care about the poor and the environment is just not the Jesus the people at Fox News know and love. That is the kind of heresy that can get you…well, make you go away. And go he did. According to witnesses, Shep was ushered out of the studio and into a black SUV driven by Steve Doocy. One of the men escorting Shep out was described as “someone who lies on Fox News all the time”. The FBI is currently trying to narrow that down.
The FBI asks anyone who may have seen Shep Smith or anyone fitting the description of his abductors, to contact them immediately. You are warned not to approach the suspects, as they are armed with talking points and may totally confuse you. The FBI has pleaded with Shep’s captors to release him unharmed, promising no questions will be asked. After all, this is Fox News, and no one there any curiosity about the truth.