This week on Episode 376 of The Tim Corrimal Show we investigate the new Donald Trump demographic of “poorly educated”. He won them by a wide margin in Nevada and he loves them for it! Now one must wonder how the pollsters asked the question “are you poorly educated” without getting punched in the face. But apparently there is an entire group of GOP voters in Nevada who proudly wear the manner of uneducated. Who knew? But the fact is that that demographic helped Donald Trump past the finish line in what is apparently a proud new “Know-Nothing” Party. And now, to show how much the poorly educated love The Donald, they have started several new Super-PACs.
First is the “Right to Ignorance” PAC. On their website, duh.org, they display their motto, “The less you know, the freer you are!”. Their goal: To raise “lots of money for Mr. Trump!” The plan is simple, according to PAC chairman and banjo enthusiast Bobby Trippe. “We are not asking much, but if one million contributors pledge just one dollar each, that’s got to be, like, a thousand dollars to make Mr. Trump president, maybe even get him into the White House!” The “Right to Ignorance” Super PAC intends to spend the money on radio and TV campaign ads. To stretch their dollars and in order to get discounts from TV and radio outlets, the PAC plans to run all their ads AFTER each state’s primary .
Another innovative approach is the “Bad Splelers for Trump” Super PAC. Their emphasis, according to spokeswoman Janet Q. would be on posters and lawn signs. (Ms. Q. asked that we not use her full last name because she never learned to spell it). Ms. Q. explained their strategy: “We tried to start a “Go Fund Me” page but our techie Clyde somehow started a “Go Find Me” page instead. Only one letter off and for some reason we didn’t receive a single donation. So we all chipped in and decided to buy poster paper and make the signs ourselves. Naturally, we went to Hobby Lobby where the nice Christian man was very supportive and sold us special magic markers that he said had spell-check built right into them! You guys will have to tell us if they are working, but he only charged an extra $50 each for the spell-check feature”. Their website is still under construction due to some confusion with how many “w’s” are in “www”.
Last is the “Wal-Mart Shoppers for Freedom” Super PAC. The organizer and chief spokesman for this PAC goes by the name of “Fruit of the Loom” Mike. Mike is a permanent resident of the men’s underwear department where he got lost two years ago with his grand kids and could not find his way out. He was interviewed behind the door of the dressing room in menswear for fear of being recognized. Said Mike, “I don’t like to identify my exact location for fear of reprisals. Liberals hate freedom, you know!” It is Mike’s hope that the Super PAC will show America that people are fed up with liberal obsession with education.
“We call ourselves the Blue Light Special Riders for Freedom! I never read a book in my life and sill own my RV outright. It’s parked outside, if I ever find the way out!” Mike’s hope is that his Super PAC will help Trump win the election so that his grandchildren can live in an America like he grew up in, free and ignorant. “They live over there in the toy department”, he said referring to his grandchildren, “and I want them to be free to learn the important things in life like reloading ammo and duck calling”
I’m not sure how much money these new Super PACs will be raising for Donald Trump, but one thing is for sure: As he gets closer to the republican nomination, the ignorant will be right there with him!