Archive for July, 2014

This week on Episode 303 of The Tim Corrimal Show, the GOP Clown Car examines the curious confusion of the Tea Party’s own Rep. Curt Clawson. As if you needed more convincing that Sarah Palin and Joe the Plumber were wrong in believing that ignorance prepares you for government service, enter Congressman Clawson. He is Florida’s 19th congressional district’s replacement for their former Tea Party member who found Jesus in a few lines of cocaine and a two year prison sentence. This week Mr. Clawson chaired a subcommittee hearing. Testifying for the Obama administration were Nisha Biswal, Assistant Secretary of State for South and Central Asian Affairs and Arun Kumar, Director General of the US and Foreign Commercial Service. Mr. Clawson, mistaking them for Indian officials, assured them that he was an expert on their country (which unbeknownst to him is also his country) and loved it to pieces. (Listen here) “Just as your capital is welcome here to produce good-paying jobs in the U.S., I’d like our capital to be welcome there,” he told them. “I ask cooperation and commitment and priority from your government in so doing. Can I have that?” At that moment the two witnesses had looks on their faces that said “I wonder how this guy manages to dress and feed himself” But they diplomatically informed him that his wishes were best referred to the Indian government, which, by the way, was not them. Ah, the virtues of ignorance. And thank you John McCain for your contribution to the dumbing down of America. Or is that India?

This week on Episode 302 of The Tim Corrimal Show the Clown Car is populated by the Clown Prince himself, Sean Hannity along with his Duchess of Dumb, Sarah Palin. Together they make up The Fox News Royal Couple of comedy entertainment. Last week her Dumbness decided that Congress should immediately pass articles of impeachment on President Obama for his numerous constitutional violations. His Pompousness Sean readily agreed and they spent countless minutes of airtime (that could have been put to good use selling worthless gold futures) enumerating the president’s high crimes and misdemeanors. Among them was that on election night in 2008 he ruined a perfect opportunity for Sarah to celebrate her vice-presidential victory by shooting a moose live on stage.

Sean quickly pointed out that we must not forget that first and foremost Obama is a democrat an offense that on Fox News carries a mandatory sentence of life of constant criticism without parole. They spent what seemed like a decade whining about his alleged lies and abuses of the Constitution that included, but are not limited to; using his executive powers as if he were president; being educated; being president while being black; being educated while being black; and, well, being black.

The segment ended with a Royal plea to all the momma bears and papa bears to stand on their hind legs, expose their genitalia, and demand that their congress person do the right thing and remove the usurper Obama and install Princess Pinhead as Animal Slayer in Chief! Anything less would be considered treason punishable by many more hours of these two idiots pandering to their audience of fat old white men that smell like Parmesan cheese.

This week on Episode 301 of The Tim Corrimal Show the Clown Car Update revisits the whimsical decision in the Hobby Lobby case. Their opinion was riddled with circular logic and sprinkled with glitter and rhinestones that can be found in aisle five of your local Hobby Lobby franchise (but not on Sunday because they are closed so The Lord Jesus can count the loot they took in from their Chinese line of merchandise). Anyway to no one’s surprise, the five Tea Party activists posing as Supreme Court justices wrote a majority decision transforming your scrap book supply buying into a religious pilgrimage. Ruling that the retail chain did not have to provide contraception coverage for their female employees, they in effect said that Hobby Lobby was a church where the Holy Spirit resides somewhere between the Elmer’s glue and the Krylon Spray paint. “Praise Jesus!”, Antonin  Scalia was heard to say, as the Koch Brothers Five danced on their masters’ strings that, by the way, come in fifteen vibrant colors in the yarn and knitting department. So line up sinners and enter the new world of “for profit” soul saving and don’t forget to check out the weekly circular chuck full of savings blessed by The Lord Jesus himself!