Well, it’s been a bad week for Georgia Republican Senatorial candidate Hershel Walker. It seems that he is suffering from a well-known Republican disease called hypocrite-itis. Seems the no-abortion-with-no-exceptions candidate had his little Hershel working overtime and he had his pregnant girlfriend have an abortion on his tab. And although he denied the allegation, the woman has the receipts, or should I say the receipt from the abortion clinic and a get-well card, which prompted Hallmark to design an entire greeting card series based on the GOP candidate. Here, then, is the Hallmark Herschel Walker Commemorative Greeting Card Series:
CHRISTMAS COLLECTION:
Cover: “Dad, You Are Just Like Santa Clause!”
Inside: “You sneak in once a year and stuff Mom’s stocking”
Cover: “Dad, Christmas Without You Would Be Unthinkable”
Inside: “So we never think about you!”
Cover: “Dad, Don’t Open Until Christmas!”
Inside: “It’s set to go off on December 25 at midnight”
NEW YEARS COLLECTION:
Cover: “Happy New Year To My Favorite Love!”
Inside: “I forget which one you are, but Happy New Year Nicole?”
Cover: “Happy New Year!”
Inside: “Another year, another kid!”
Cover: “It’s The Time Of Year For Resolutions!”
Inside: “Let’s resolve to find a cheaper clinic”
FATHER’S DAY COLLECTION:
Cover: “Happy Father’s Day, Dad. You Are Always In Our Thoughts”
Inside: “Because we haven’t actually seen you in twenty years!”
Cover: “We Thought We Would Get You Something You Always Deserved”
Inside: “A restraining order”
Cover: “This Father’s Day, Let’s Do Something Special”
Inside: “Like meet you in person”
MOTHER’S DAY COLLECTION:
Cover: “For My Wife On Mother’s Day. You’re Number One!”
Inside: “The other three women rank second, third, and fourth”
Cover: “To My Wife, The Mother Of My Children”
Inside: “Well, some of them anyway”
Cover: “I Couldn’t Have Chosen A Better Mother For My Children”
Inside: “I just hope I addressed this card to the right one”
GET WELL COLLECTION:
Cover: “Just A Little Something To Get You Through A Rough Time”
Inside: “I assumed the clinic is still charging the same?”
Cover: “I Hope You’re Feeling Better After Your Procedure”
Inside: “I know I am!”
Cover: “Get Well Soon”
Inside: “Oh, and I’ll need the receipt from the clinic for my taxes”
NEW BABY COLLECTION:
Cover: “I Heard You Have A New Arrival!”
Inside: “I’m assuming the same support arrangement as the last two?”
Cover: “A New Baby, And I’m Here For You!”
Inside: “Just don’t call my cell because my wife checks my calls!”
Cover: “The Stork Told Me You Have A New Little Bundle!”
Inside: “Actually, it was my campaign manager and he asked me if you can keep it under wraps until after the mid-terms?”
The Poorly Written Political Blog 