The Clown Car Update for November 14, 2021

Posted: November 17, 2021 in New Post

Has this ever happened to you? There you are, waiting on Dealey Plaza for Donald Trump’s 2024 running mate to appear. Everyone is having fun chanting “We never landed on the moon!” and hanging on tight so they don’t fall off the edge of the earth. The clock strikes 12:29 PM and then…..NO JFK JR.! Not even a “J”, “F”, or “K”! NADA!

As a QAnon activist, you have so much to do in your workday. Tracking lizard aliens, keeping track of the covens of child-eating, blood-sucking Democrats, and predicting the date Donald Trump will return in in a yellow stream of glory. And when you have to keep revising your predictions when they never came true, recruiting dead people to reveal the latest master plan can be time-consuming and when they don’t show, extremely frustrating. But it doesn’t have to be that way anymore with Q-Recruiter, the recruiting specialist with the perfect dead person for any occasion.

At Q-Recruiter, we match the perfect QAnon zombie with your specifications to the special occasion you have in mind. We attend seances all over the world and meet the most qualified spirits and upload their resumes into our vast database. Then, all you have to do is post the event at which you need a dead person to appear and we send the perfect ghoul. Choose from our many categories:

  • Dead Presidents
  • Dead Comedians
  • Dead Serial Killers
  • Dead Nazis
  • Dead Confederate Generals
  • Dead Kennedys (No, not the band, REAL dead Kennedys)
  • Dead Scientists
  • Dead Rock Stars
  • Dead Lawyers (But really, aren’t they all dead inside?)

Need someone to lead your next Civil War? How about Robert E. Lee! Need to find those flesh-eating Democrats? Who better than Jeffrey Dahmer? And how great would Trump’s reinstatement inaugural be with the ghost of Richard Nixon to swear him in holding the Pee-Pee Tapes? And the best part is that you can use Q-Recruiter absolutely free for your first event. Just type in the coupon code ELVIS and enjoy your first dead person on us.

Don’t get caught in Dealey Plaza without a dead running mate for Donald Trump in 2024. Make sure he has a corpse just like the one he had his first four years. How about Heinrich Himmler or Joseph Goebbels. And don’t forget a new first lady! Eva Braun anyone? Save time, save embarrassment, and save money by recruiting your next dead person on Q-Recruiter. At Q-Recruiter our candidates are just like your next prediction: Dead on arrival!

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