On Thursday morning the world was shocked, SHOCKED that the planned summit between Donald Trump and Kim Jong Un was cancelled. Naturally, the world was disappointed, but as Stormy Daniels told reporters “with Donald, everything is over before it starts!”. No one was disappointed as much as the people at the Franklin Mint who found themselves stuck with thousands of Singapore Summit Commemorative coins. But some quick thinking on the part of the Franklin Mint’s staff and the problem was over faster than Trump having sex. As a result, the Franklin Mint is proud to offer for the first time ever, “The Donald Trump – Robert S. Mueller III Deposition Commemorative Coin” freshly salvaged from the Singapore summit scraps. Each of these rare collectables has been hand cut, removing the image of Kim Jong Un and inserting the image of Robert Mueller handing the president a subpoena.
This coin, representing what could be the last interview of the Trump presidency, is accompanied by a certificate of authenticity and the original letter from President Trump to Kim Jong Un telling him that they were no longer going steady and he wanted to see other people:
Dear Kim,
I heard in the second period homeroom from my best friend Johnny Bolton that he saw you behind the stadium bleachers on Friday with Xi Jinping. Also, my other best friend Rudy further told me that you actually kissed XI and slipped him the tongue. Sadly, based on the tremendous anger this has caused me and open hostility displayed in your groping Moon Jae-in in the chemistry lab, I feel it is inappropriate, at this time, to go to the movies as planned Friday night. Therefore, please let this letter serve to as notice that I will not be taking you to the prom. You talk about your big penis, but mine is so massive and powerful that I pray to God I never hurt a virgin.
If you change your mind about Xi or Moon, please do not hesitate to call me or write. You have lost a great opportunity to go to the prom with the Makeout King and a lot of people were (I would never say it) but everyone thinks we were shoe-ins to get the Best Couple at the Prom Award. This missed opportunity is a truly sad moment, since I don’t have another prom date because of Stormy now going with Michael Avenatti. So call me if you miss me.
Sincerely yours, a very, very sad,
Donald J. Trump
Hurry, because, at $130,000 each, these coins will not last longer than a Michael Cohen non-disclosure agreement. Each of these rare coins is numbered one through infinity and come with a very limited money back guarantee. This coin is the perfect addition to your Franklin Mint MAGA collection. And watch for new coin offerings soon including the “Trump University Graduate Commemorative Coin” emblazoned on the back with their motto “Go Pricks”. And also coming soon, the “Moscow Golden Shower 2013 Commemorative Coin” wrapped in a piece of authentic Moscow hotel bedsheet. And remember at The Franklin Mint we believe like Stormy that even though Trump pulled out we can still make money!
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