The Clown Car Update for January 14, 2018

Posted: January 14, 2018 in New Post

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Are you having trouble recruiting white immigrants? Do applicants from shithole countries keep clogging your inbox? Do you wish that all your applicants looked like they work at Fox News? Well, your troubles are over because now there is WhiteRecruiter! WhiteRecruiter is the easy way to keep black and brown people from infiltrating your lily-white country.

WhiteRecruiter put you in touch with millions of pure white immigrants from the whitest countries possible. We have people ready to go from Norway, Sweeden, Iceland, Greenland, Denmark, and Finland. And if that is not white enough for you, we have immigrants from the Faroe Islands where they have not seen melanin in over five thousand years!

Here’s how WhiteRecruiter works. First, we eliminate any applications from the African continent. Then, we eliminate people from Haiti who all have AIDS as well as most of South America, the Carribean Islands, Samoa, and Puerto Rico. I know what you are thinking: “Puerto Rico? But that’s part of the United States!” Well, not to Trump! Next, we ask all applicants to submit DNA test results to verify that they do not have even the most remote relationship with anyone south of the Arctic Circle. Then they are carefully interviewed by the members of Fox and Friends for a complete whitewashing.

Just listen to some of the testimonials from users of WhiteRecruiter:

Before WhiteRecruiter, I would spend most of my day lying to Jake Tapper about why people of color were not qualified to work in the White House. Now, with WhiteRecruiter, all I see is white, white, white all day. Thanks,WhiteRecruiter! – KellyAnn Conway

WhiteRecruiter is absolutely amazing! I never knew that so many Norwegians wanted to come to the United States. I thought they loved eating fish and living in the dark for six months a year! – Sarah Huckabee

I’ve dreamed of something like WhiteRecruiter all my life. I wish we had WhiteRecruiter when we were writing the Muslim Travel Ban. – Stephen Miller

With WhiteRecriuter, we are keeping all the wrong people in their huts where they belong! – John Kelly

Yes, WhiteRecruiter has been helping the White House keep out the hut dwellers and make America great again with a basket of lily-white deporables. So keep those undesirables out of your inbox and in their shithole huts.  UseWhiteRecruiter for all your immigration needs. And coming soon, WhiteAncestryDNA to be assured your DNA is shithole free and white!

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