The Clown Car Update for December 3, 2017

Posted: December 3, 2017 in New Post


Matt Lauer, Garrison Keillor, Al Franken, Joe Barton,  and John Conyers were all this week accused of sexual misconduct in the workplace. It seemed like every day a new allegation comes along that some creep was caught with his pants down. So the Clown car decided to take a survey under the hashtag “donttakeoutyourpenis” to see what situations people believed it was inappropriate to take it out. One would think that would be self-evident, but we were surprised a bit at some of the situations that some people thought it might be appropriate to pop out your pipe cleaner:

  • When you are in the doctor’s office and the nurse asks if you have any swelling
  • When you are in a restaurant and the waiter asks can I take something out of your way  #donttakeoutyourpenis
  • When you are finished with dinner and your companion asks what kind of tip you should leave #donttakeoutyourpenis
  • When the FBI asks you if you have ever met with Russian agents #donttakeoutyourpenis
  • When you are coming through customs at the airport and they ask if you have anything to declare #donttakeoutyourpenis
  • When your girlfriend asks you what you got her for Christmas #donttakeoutyourpenis
  • When the salesman at Home Depot asks you what length of wood trim you need #donttakeoutyourpenis
  • When a cop pulls you over and asks you are carrying any weapons  #donttakeoutyourpenis
  • When you are at a bus stop and someone asks you if you know how long it will be #donttakeoutyourpenis
  • When the post office worker asks how much your package weighs #donttakeoutyourpenis
  • When trying to catch the garter at a wedding  #donttakeoutyourpenis
  • When you meet a friend on the street and they ask what’s up #donttakeoutyourpenis

These are just a sample of the responses we got from our survey. There was one more, and it came from an unnamed source in the White House. When you have tiny hands, #neverevertakeoutyourpenis!





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