The Clown Car Update for December 3, 2017

Posted: December 3, 2017 in New Post

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Matt Lauer, Garrison Keillor, Al Franken, Joe Barton,  and John Conyers were all this week accused of sexual misconduct in the workplace. It seemed like every day a new allegation comes along that some creep was caught with his pants down. So the Clown car decided to take a survey under the hashtag “donttakeoutyourpenis” to see what situations people believed it was inappropriate to take it out. One would think that would be self-evident, but we were surprised a bit at some of the situations that some people thought it might be appropriate to pop out your pipe cleaner:

  • When you are in the doctor’s office and the nurse asks if you have any swelling
  • When you are in a restaurant and the waiter asks can I take something out of your way  #donttakeoutyourpenis
  • When you are finished with dinner and your companion asks what kind of tip you should leave #donttakeoutyourpenis
  • When the FBI asks you if you have ever met with Russian agents #donttakeoutyourpenis
  • When you are coming through customs at the airport and they ask if you have anything to declare #donttakeoutyourpenis
  • When your girlfriend asks you what you got her for Christmas #donttakeoutyourpenis
  • When the salesman at Home Depot asks you what length of wood trim you need #donttakeoutyourpenis
  • When a cop pulls you over and asks you are carrying any weapons  #donttakeoutyourpenis
  • When you are at a bus stop and someone asks you if you know how long it will be #donttakeoutyourpenis
  • When the post office worker asks how much your package weighs #donttakeoutyourpenis
  • When trying to catch the garter at a wedding  #donttakeoutyourpenis
  • When you meet a friend on the street and they ask what’s up #donttakeoutyourpenis

These are just a sample of the responses we got from our survey. There was one more, and it came from an unnamed source in the White House. When you have tiny hands, #neverevertakeoutyourpenis!

 

 

 

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