The Clown Car Update for November 5, 2017

Posted: November 5, 2017 in New Post

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Well, well. The indictments were flowing faster this week than urine on Donald Trump’s bedsheets. But this time, it was the Oval Office taking the soaking and it was Bob Mueller peeing all over Donnie’s parade. The news that Trump’s foreign policy advisor George Popadopoulos was wearing a wire for the entire month of October had the West Wing thinking of who would be wearing an orange jumpsuit. And although he denied he had anything to worry about, he could smell the ink on the arrest warrant. So how do you know when your presidency is about to end. Well, here in the Clown Car Update have assembled for you the top ten ways Donald Trump knows he is about to be indicted:

10.  Ivanka has just started a new fashion line of GPS ankle bracelets.

9.   The Secret Service changed his codename to Prisoner 45.

8.   “Who is Donald Trump?” was the answer on Jeopardy to the question “He was the first President whose official portrait was a mug shot.”

7.   He found fingerprinting dust on his smartphone.

6.   There is feedback coming from Melania’s bra.

5.   Sean Spicer changed his Facebook status to “Witness Protection”.

4.   The White House barber just shaved his head.

3.   When questioned by the FBI, the staff referred to him as a “low-level staff member.”

2.   The FBI just ordered a pair of doll-sized handcuffs.

1.    Is that Melania sneaking down the fire escape?

But don’t worry Donnie, everything is going to be all right. Remember you said how you have the best people, you have the best brain, you have the best memory, and you have the best words. Well, Bob Mueller wants you to know that your winning streak is not over yet because he is going to make sure you have the best prison cell.

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