The Clown Car Update for August 27, 2017

Posted: August 27, 2017 in New Post

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Has this ever happened to you? You’re at an important sales meeting with black clients and your boss tells them how much better off the slaves were before they were emancipated? Or you are at a wedding reception and your plus-one reveals how much they admired Hitler? Or you’re attending a Trump news conference where he just endorsed Nazi’s and you are a member of his cabinet? You try to pretend that everything is normal, but it’s hard to keep a smile on your face, right? Well, worry no more because for all those socially awkward and embarrassing moments there is now relief. All you need is PermaSmile!

Yes, PermaSmile is the newest treatment for the embarrassment of being associated with an asshole. PermaSmile has been clinically proven to keep a smile on your face no matter how much you want to punch that jerk next to you in the face. You no longer have to worry how you are going to keep a stupid grin on your face while your boss is making a complete ass of him or herself. Just use PermaSmile before every event and stand there like an idiot knowing that all public sees is those pearly whites!

Developed by members of Trump’s White House staff, PermaSmile is the only proven effective treatment for Shocked Face Syndrome or SFS. Take it from Donald J. Trumps’ associates, the people who suffered for the last eight months next to the most obnoxious man on the planet saying the most vulgar and hateful things. Just listen to their testimonials:

Speaker of the House Paul Ryan says,

I used to pee myself every time I had to be with him in public. Now, with PermaSmile, I can go out with confidence knowing that no matter what vile vitriol comes from his mouth, I will be smiling the whole time!

And Transportation Secretary Elaine Chao, who has to stand next to Donald Trump while he insults her husband, had this to say,

My brain tells me to turn and smash him right across that orange piehole, but thanks to PermaSmile, all the public sees is a stupid grin on my face. It fools everybody!

And finally, Sen. Dean Heller says,

He made me sit next to him while he threatened to primary my ass, but thanks to PermaSmile, all you ever saw was a shit-eating grin on my face. My smile said ‘ha, ha’ while my brain said ‘go fuck yourself, Donnie!’

Tell your doctor before taking a job in the Trump White House because PermaSmile may not be for everyone. Do not use PermaSmile if you are allergic to its ingredients or have a pre-existing condition known as TAS (Trump Aversion Syndrome). Consult your doctor if you experience any of the following symptoms: Fox News Addiction, Sean Hannity Brain Loss, Roger Stone Face, or Jeffrey Lord Dementia. Seek emergency treatment for a smile lasting more than four hours as this may lead to permanent damage or a condition known as “Joker Face.”

Remember, use PermaSmile for all your anxious, awkward moments. PermaSmile is available in spray, cream, or a fast acting suppository with a tiny hand applicator.

“PermaSmile: Smile Though Your Heart is Aching!”

Permasmile has not been approved by the FDA and has not been proven to prevent or cure any condition such as being a deplorable Trump supporter.

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