The Clown Car Update for June 25, 2017

Posted: June 25, 2017 in New Post

432-1

Maybe you’re an FBI director between opportunities. Maybe your just a normal person looking for a great opportunity. You answer an ad in the Washington Post for a self-starter who wants the career of a lifetime to work in a high-profile position as a “person-of-interest.” However, when you arrive you are blindfolded and led into a dark room and attached to a microwave oven. When your blindfold is removed, you are sitting in a blinding light and across from you sits a man dressed as the Easter Bunny. He begins the conversation by screaming at you that Trump’s inauguration had the biggest crowds and to shut up and listen. Is this a setup? Was that newspaper ad a trap to get you to join a cult? Are you going to be found in pieces in a garbage bag floating in the Potomac? The Bunnyman tells you “you are hired!” And then it hits you. This is far, far worse. You begin to suspect you have been hired to work on the White House staff! How can you be sure? Here are the top ten ways to know you are working in the Trump White House:

10. Your employee handbook has a section on how to plead the Fifth.

9.   Your benefit package includes a criminal defense lawyer.

8.   At your orientation, you are shown the first three seasons of “Orange Is the New Black”

7.   Your screen saver is a subpoena

6.   Your Secret Service codename is “Suspect 432”

5.    You have a reserved seat in front of the Senate Intelligence Committee

4.    On your first day of work you are offered a plea deal

3.    You are given training on the proper way to be handcuffed

2.    At your job interview, you are read your Miranda Rights

1.    Repeat after me, “I don’t remember!”

If you recognize any of these signs, it’s already too late. You have joined the Trump White House and you’re probably looking at five to ten in a federal penitentiary. That’s right, you have been left to twist slowly, slowly in the wind and that view you have is the underside of a bus.

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