The Clown Car Update for April 23, 2017

Posted: April 22, 2017 in New Post

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Well, it’s been one-hundred days since the Orange Menace took office but it seems like one hundred years! In the last few days, he has boasted that he has accomplished more in that time than any other president before him. So, in the tradition of most news organizations, the Clown Car decided to fact-check his claim. To do this, we compared his record with the president who set the standard for the first one-hundred days of the presidency, Franklin D. Roosevelt. Then rated his claim on the Joe Wilson Scale of You Lie. Here’s what we found.

  • Between March 8 and June 16, Congress followed Roosevelt’s lead by passing an incredible fifteen separate bills and several of the programs are still around in the federal government today. Between January 20 and April 28, Trump passed so much gas that most of the odor is still around in the federal government today.
  • In his first hundred days, Franklin Roosevelt declared a bank holiday to prevent the banking system from collapsing. In his first hundred days, Trump declared a Big Mac holiday to prevent his belly from collapsing.
  • To prevent deflation, Roosevelt ended the Gold Standard. To deflate his stomach, Trump took a dump on a gold toilet.
  • Roosevelt signed the Glass-Steagall Act, preventing investment banks from using deposits for investment. Trump declared alternate facts, preventing anyone from using facts to check his tweets.
  • In his first hundred days, Franklin Roosevelt initiated massive government spending to “prime the pump” of the economy. Trump had to have his stomach pumped to flush out the remains of a well-done steak with ketchup.
  • Roosevelt established the Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation to back up deposits against loss up to twenty-five hundred dollars. Trump got backed up big time after eating a bowl of nachos with Cheese Whiz.
  • Roosevelt signed the Federal Securities Act into law, which regulated what Wall Street bankers could do with the stock market. Trump nominated Wall Street bankers to all his cabinet positions to ensure their federal security.
  • Roosevelt signed the Agriculture Adjustment Act, that helped reduce crop surpluses and increase prices for crops. Trump reduced ethics standards for the presidency to increase profits from his businesses.
  • Roosevelt started the Civilian Conservation Corps: putting  250,000 young men to work in rural conservation projects in national parks and forests. Trump started the Civilian Survivor Corps, putting everyone on notice that they may have to live in parks and forests.
  • Roosevelt started the Tennessee Valley Authority providing electrification and other basic improvements to the impoverished interior of the South. Trump signed an executive order to allow the coal industry to provide polluted water and unbreathable air to the impoverished interior of the south.
  • Roosevelt signed the National Industrial Recovery Act created new agencies and regulations that tightened the relationship between government and business. Trump initiated the Trump Foundation Recovery Act, tightening the flow of money between government and his businesses.
  • Roosevelt signed the Federal Emergency Relief Act, providing direct relief, training and work for unemployed Americans. Trump started the Trump Family Relief Project, providing direct profits, sweet deals, and branding opportunities for his unemployed family members.

So after reviewing Trump’s first hundred days to that of the Roosevelt administration, we give Trump’s claim, that he has accomplished more in his first hundred days that any other president, five Joe Wilsons!

Joe Wilsons

*Roosevelt accomplishments as reported on www.shmoop.com.

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