On Episode 417 of the Tim Corrimal Show we tackle the question left from this week news: Will the Trump be sharing a cell or be given individual accommodations. Whichever way this goes, a smart investor would be looking into companies that make handcuffs. Soon after Trump held the first ever Klan meeting in front of a joint session of congress, the tweets hit the fan. First, there was a Washington Post report that numerous Trump campaign workers, including the shiny new AG, were actually little Russian dingleberries hanging off Putin’s ass. Almost simultaneously, the New York Times reported that anticipating that Trump cultists would try to wash away evidence in a drum of Kool-Aid, Obama administration officials squirreled away evidence damaging to the Orange Oracle.
And if that was not enough, on Friday the first leprechaun in history to be appointed AG was forced to recuse himself from any investigation of the Trump campaign because he accidentally kissed the Russian ambassador’s ass in full view of his staff. That was enough to put the Lemon Lout into an epic twitter frenzy on Saturday that had his aides running for the life boats.
So the Clown Car Update wants to know just when did Sergey Kislyak infiltrate the White House and how do we know? Here are the top ten clues that a Russian agent has compromised the White House:
#10 There is electronic feedback coming from Trump’s wig.
#9 Before directing your call, the switchboard operator says “Das vadanya!”
#8 The presidents Big Mac just asked him so speak more clearly
#7 That painting of Andrew Jackson just winked!
#6 Ever since the White House cook’s mysterious death, the soup of the day is borscht.
#5 The president’s intelligence briefings are suddenly in Cyrillic script.
#4 The Olympic Doping Committee has asked your staff for urine samples
#3 Putin’s Face is suddenly on all the White House screensavers
#2 Who ordered the red curtains?
#1 No, that wasn’t Sean Spicer in that Easter Bunny costume!
Incidentally, Mr. Trump, Sergey wants you to know he will return your wallet as soon as his people are finished copying your account numbers. But look at it this way, Donnie, that investment you made in all those private prisons is about to pay off!