The Clown Car Update for November 6, 2016 (Pre-Election Edition)

Posted: November 6, 2016 in New Post


For Episode 405 of the Tim Corrimal Show, this is my pre-election rant!

On Tuesday, we will not only be choosing the next president, but if our democracy survives at all. No one can be sure for certain what the outcome will be, but we will certainly make history. Either we will elect our first woman president, or an arsonist. It is worth recounting how we got here.

On the Democratic side, we had Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders, debating policy and looking for a better future for our country. On the republican side, we had what the Republicans thought was a “deep bench” with an abundance of talent. What it actually turned out to be was an overflowing cesspool. It was certainly deep, but with an abundance of what usually lurks in a sewer. The Democratic side, produced a candidate who is intelligent, meticulously prepared, eminently qualified, with a lifetime of serving our country. The Republican side produced what one would expect from a cesspool. And, as what commonly occurs when one overflows, the biggest turd rose to the top. If the Republicans were health conscious, they would have been concerned that their turd was orange and hairy. But as we all know, Republicans have no interest in health, and the hairy orange turd was the natural excretion of what the party’s base has been fed for decades.

The Republican nominee launched his campaign with a barrage of insults for emigrants, particularly Latinos, calling them rapist and drug dealers. He proposed building a wall across our entire southern border. Most reasonable observers thought that sppech would be the end of his presidential aspiration, but unfortunately it was just beginning. What followed was one of the ugliest candidacies in modern history aided and abetted by the MSM. This turd did and said everything that would push a normal stool back to the bottom of the cesspool. But ratings were good, so our living rooms were filled with his stench for fifteen months.

He insulted a female debate moderator for exposing his misogyny, implying she was on her period. He criticized prisoners of war for being captured, insulted the looks of another female candidate, and then another candidate’s wife. He implicated that same candidate’s father in the assassination of JFK, falsely claimed to have seen Muslims in New Jersey celebrating the day of 9/11, mocked a disabled reporter, and threatened to ban an entire religion from entering the United States. He has called for the assassination of his opponent, has encouraged his audience to beat up protesters, has called for the murder of the wives and children of suspected terrorists, and proposed to use torture in violation of U.S. law.

He has expressed admiration for brutal dictators, most notably Vladimir Putin, while denouncing our own president as weak. He has asked Russia to spy on our own government. He has expressed interest in advancing the expansion of Russian interests against our allies in NATO and has threatened to end that alliance altogether. He has a fascination with nuclear weapons and wonders why we don’t use them more often. He would even like to see them spread to other countries like Japan, South Korea, and Saudi Arabia. And like a person with road rage, he would start WWIII if another country’s sailors merely gestured the wrong way.

He acts like an adolescent bully, using social media to belittle anyone who disagrees with him and then laughably sends his wife out to pretend that as First Lady she will be a champion for his victims. He tells female reporters to “shut up,” and has encouraged his supporters to harass the press whose job it is to cover his campaign. He seeks to muzzle the press, end free speech, and jail his political opponent.

He claims to have the temperament to be trusted with our nuclear codes, but cannot control his compulsive use of Twitter to attack a former Miss Universe. He brags about sexually assaulting women, and when accused by twelve women of doing exactly what he bragged about, lies about it without a tinge of conscience, pretending he doesn’t know them. To him they are pigs, liars, and dogs. He thinks all African-Americans are jobless, murderous drifters living in a dystopia of their own making, and then promises to be their messiah.

The people running his campaign come from the bottom of the very cesspool that produced him. They are a cabal of right-wing conspiracy theorists, Russian sympathizers, white supremacists, John Birchers, misogynists, and unrepentant bigots. They are what used to be restricted to the sludge at the bottom of the cesspool but have attached themselves like parasites to the floating fuzzy orange turd. And they are spreading into our political system, polluting the very democracy that was for over two-hundred years our fountain of hope. And at the very end of his campaign of destruction, he has shamelessly colluded with the FBI, the very institution that is supposed to protect our citizens and insure justice, to spread his lies and conspiracy theories. He has done all of this while at the same time trying to convince voters that this turd doesn’t really smell that bad.

On Tuesday, you have a choice. You can vote for Hillary Clinton, or vote for this cesspool to flood our democracy. Worse, you can choose to do nothing, or use your vote as a protest, falsely believing that by burning down the house you won’t die in the fire.

On August 9, 1974, in his swearing-in speech, President Gerald Ford referred to the ordeal of Watergate and said, “My fellow Americans, our long national nightmare is over.” I hope on Tuesday night we can echo those words with the election of Hillary Clinton. If not, our long national nightmare will be just beginning.


  1. […] The Clown Car Update for November 6, 2016 (Pre-Election Edition) […]

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