The Clown Car Update for February 7, 2016

Posted: February 7, 2016 in New Post

 

On Episode 373 of The Tim Corrimal Show, we wondered what strategy do you use in order to win the Iowa caucus? Well, if you follow the corporate media pundits, you place third. You see, coming in third, when you were expected to come in fourth or fifth is the equivalent of winning, at least if you are desperate for anyone other than Donald Trump or Ted Cruz to get the nomination. It works like the old “Abbot and Costello” routine, “Who’s on First?”. Let’s let Abbott and Costello explain it:

Costello:  Who won Iowa?

Abbott:    Rubio.

Costello:  He came in first?

Abbott:    No, third.

Costello:  So who came in first?

Abbott:    Cruz.

Costello:  So Cruz won?

Abbott:    No, Rubio won.

Costello:  So Cruz came in second?

Abbott:    No, Trump came in second.

Costello:  I’m not asking who came in second, I’m asking who won?

Abbott:    That’s what I’m telling you, Rubio!

Costello:  So Rubio came in first?

Abbott:    No, Rubio came in third.

Costello:  So Rubio lost?

Abbott:    No he won.

Costello:  How can he win if he came in THIRD?!

Abbott:     He did better.

Costello:   Better than who?

Abbott:      Better than expected.

Costello:    Who was expected?

Abbott:      Trump

Costello:  But Trump came in SECOND!

Abbott:      Yes, and he was the loser.

Costello:  OK! So I’m the guy who gets the most votes. So I come in first. The next guy gets the second most votes, so he comes in second. Another guy gets the third most votes and he comes in third. So I won!

Abbott:    Maybe.

Costello:  How “maybe”? I got the most votes!

Abbott:    That’s not how it works. You see, if you get the most votes, but were expected to do well, you lose. If you get more votes than expected and come in third, you win.

Costello:  So if I come in second, I win?

Abbott:    No, that’s Trump. We’re not talking about him!

Costello:  So how did Paul, Huckabee, and Santorum finish?

Abbott:    Fourth, eighth, and tenth.

Costello:  So they won BIG!

Abbott:    Oh no! They dropped out of the race.

Costello feints.

So if you are confused like Costello, so am I, but this is the way the Iowa works.  If you win, you lose, and if you lose, you win.  It’s a spin game, not a contest and the winner is not always the person with the most votes, but the person with the most pundits. Or as Lou Costello said when he ended that classic routine, “I don’t even know what I’m talking about!”

 

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