The Clown Car Update for December 6, 2015

Posted: December 6, 2015 in New Post

This week on Episode 364 of The Tim Corrimal Show, the Clown Car Update features a very strange endorsement.  Last week the New Hampshire Union Leader was expected to endorse the juggernaut of the GOP presidential race, the man who has been leading in the polls the entire political season, the person who has been dominating the GOP primary process from the day he announced his candidacy.  Except they didn’t.  Instead, the chose to endorse Chris Christie, who in the latest Real Clear Politics average of national polls is garnering a whopping 2.7% among Republican voters,  just ahead of George Pataki and genital warts.

On Sunday,  the paper’s editor,  Joe McQuaid went on meet the press to justify his decision.  It went badly.  As John Amato at Crooks and Liars pointed out,  the justification for the report was simply ridiculous.   When asked about the scandal ridden governor and Bridgegate, McQuaid defended his decision by saying  “… I don’t think they’re going to lay a glove on Christie”.   So there we have maybe the lowest bar for electing someone to the presidency in modern history: “Vote for Christie, he won’t be indicted!”. It really makes for a great bumper sticker,  don’t you think?

Maybe this will be a turning point in the GOP primary,  when the candidates,  who already seemed to be aiming quite low may be able to lower expectations even more.  So, I imagine we will be seeing new slogans appear on the bumpers of pick-up trucks and gun racks.  Here are some that I imagine will be coming out soon:

 

  • “Ted Cruz: He’s not as crazy as his father!”
  • “Mike Huckabee:  The president for the rapture!”
  • “Marco Rubio:  Don’t Worry, the White House Doesn’t Come With a Credit Card”
  • “Donald Trump: Never Insulted Aborigines”
  • “Jeb Bush: He’s a Fixer-Upper”
  • “Ben Carson: Never shot in a Popeye’s organization!”
  • “Carly Fiorina: ISIS? Did You See What She Did To Hewlett Packard!”
  • “Jim Gilmore: If they don’t know who I am, they can’t attack you!”
  • “Lindsey Graham: His feinting is under control”
  • “John Kasich: He’s crazy,  but he hides it well”
  • “George Pataki: Pacing himself”
  • “Rand Paul: Well, He’s not Ron Paul!”
  • “Rick Santorum: Pennsylvania Survived Him!”

Now, I doubt we will be seeing many of these, but given the new standards for endorsing candidates, I don’t think they are out of the question.  But there is one in the works on the Democratic side that will surly be on bumpers very soon, and it goes like this:

VOTE FOR DEMOCRATS: THEY’RE TREMENDOUS!

 

 

 

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