The Clown Car Update for November 22, 2015

Posted: November 22, 2015 in New Post

This week on Episode 362 of the Tim Corrimal Show we discuss the reaction of the GOP to the terrifying prospect of allowing Syrian refugees into our country.  Remember the GOP debates when all the tough candidates blustered about how they would scare foreign leaders into giving us candy and ice cream?  Remember how Donald Trump is going to have Mexico built a big beautiful wall and make them pay for it and give every U S citizen a coupon to Taco Bell? Remember how Carly Fiorina would scare Vladimir Putin off his horse and make him put on a shirt? Remember how Mike Huckabee was going make women have babies and peek at them through a peep hole in the ladies’ room? Well, forget all that because there is a new threat that has republicans more excited than David Vitter at a Pampers sale!

Yes, there is nothing more terrifying to a republican than the prospect of providing a safe haven to widows and orphans.  So this week,  22 republican governors and several of their presidential candidates vowed to block the president’s plan.  Ben Carson even published a map of the patriotic states that have banned refugees from entering.  And in typical Ben Carson style, his map pictured three New England states as part of Canada.  Yes, they sympathized with the refugee’s situation, but what if one of them turned out to be a terrorist or, worse yet, eventually registered as a Democrat?  Then it would be too late, and we just can’t take that chance!

It was as if the spirit of the Cowardly Lion from The Wizard of Oz has possessed the entire party:

  • Speaker of the House, Paul Ryan said “This is a moment where it’s better to be safe than to be sorry.”
    • Cowardly Lion Speak: “I’m going in there. There’s only one thing I want you fellows to do. Talk me out of it!”
  • Jeb! said only Christian refugees, “I think you can prove it[that you are a Christian], if you can’t prove it, you err on the side of caution.”
    • Cowardly Lion Speak: “That doesn’t do any good, I’m afraid of ’em.”
  • Ted Cruz said if there are Syrian Muslims who are really being persecuted they should be sent to “majority-Muslim countries.”
    • Cowardly Lion Speak: “You’re right, I am a coward! I haven’t any courage at all. I even scare myself”.
  • Chris Christie said the United States should not admit any refugees from the Syrian civil war — not even “orphans under age 5.”
    • Cowardly Lion Speak:  “Not nobody! Not nohow!”

But President Obama was in no mood, and from the Asian-Pacific Economic Cooperation summit had this to say

Apparently, they are scared of widows and orphans coming into the United States of America,” the president said. “At first they were too scared of the press being too tough on them in the debates. Now they are scared of 3-year-old orphans. That doesn’t seem so tough to me.

Oh, oh! That really upset Cowardly Lion Ted Cruz.  His reaction? “Put ’em up, put ’em up! Which one of you first? I’ll fight you all together if you want. I’ll fight you with one paw tied behind my back. I’ll fight you standing on one foot. I’ll fight you with my eyes closed… ohh, sneaking up on me, eh? Why, I’ll… Ruff! .

But in the end, we know it takes courage to do the right thing, after all, what makes a King out of a slave? Courage.  What makes the flag on the mast to wave?  Courage. What makes the elephant charge his tusk in the misty mist or the dusky dusk? Courage. What makes the muskrat guard his musk? Courage. What makes the Sphinx the 7th Wonder? Courage. What makes the dawn come up like THUNDER?! Courage. What makes the Hottentot so hot? What puts the “ape” in ape-ricot? Whatta they got the GOP ain’t got?

COURAGE!!!

You can say that again!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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