The Clown Car Update for August 16, 2015

Posted: August 11, 2015 in New Post

This week on Episode 384 of the Tim Corrimal Show, Michelle Bachmann is back and she is really happy. Why?  Because Barack Obama, by agreeing to a deal with Iran, has set in motion the end of the world. According an article posted by Brian Tashman on Right Wing Watch, our favorite Minnesota Mutant appeared on Jan Markell’s radio show over the weekend to proclaim the coming of the end times, or as we sinners call it, time to party!

Ms. Bachmann’s rabid enthusiasm for the end of civilization brought to mind my favorite anti-war song of the 60’s,  “I-Feel-Like-I’m-Fixin’-To-Die Rag” by Country Joe and the Fish. It’s famous chorus went like this:

And its 1,2,3 what are we fightin’ for?
don’t ask me i don’t give a dam, the next stop is Vietnam,
and its 5,6,7 open up the pearly gates. Well there ain’t no time to wonder why…WHOPEE we’re all gunna die.

According to the article,  Crazy Eyes declared that the Iran deal that President Obama negotiated

was “the most important national security event of my lifetime” because it fulfilled the prophecy of Zechariah 12:3 that all the nations of the world will unite against Israel, “with the United States leading that charge.”

It is likely that Zechariah never mentioned the United States and that Ms. Bachmann added that passage after God wrote it.  Zechariah is believed to have died of leprosy waiting for the GOP health care replacement plan.

Ms. Markell agreed with Crazy Eyes:

There are consequences to doing things like this against God’s covenant land, there are horrible consequences.  Then you throw in some other things such as the Supreme Court decision back in late June and a lot of other things. Judgment isn’t just coming; judgment is already here.

By the “decision back in late June” she is referring to the Supreme Court allowing same-sex couples to marry.  As we all know, God just hates people in loving relationships. After all, the persecution of people you hate is the Christian way.

Mr. Tashman continues in his article:

Predicting the arrival of nuclear war, Bachmann said that Iran will position its future cache of nuclear weapons in Cuba in order to aim them at the U.S.

Right. Cuba. Of course. It would be so easy for Iran to sneak nuclear missiles into Cuba disguised as spare parts for a 1956 Buick.  And who would suspect a nuclear devise disguised as a large box of Cuban cigars? Oh, those sneaky Iranians!

Crazy Eyes concluded that we should not be sad, but be joyous that we are all going to face a horrible death. After all, a horrible death is everything a good Christian lives for, isn’t it?  Why do you suppose so many of them oppose Obamacare? And you should certainly appreciate that you live in a time when all civilization will be reduced to cinders. Sing. Celebrate. Be happy!  According to Bachmann:

The prophets longed to live in this day that you and I are privileged to live in

Ah, what a privilege, to be vaporized in a nuclear holocaust.  How lucky can we be. Poor Zechariah had to settle for some common disease while we get to experience a sophisticated death by nuclear fission. Rejoice, believers, because as Country Joe said so many years ago, “WHOOPIE, we’re all gunna die!”

 

 

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  1. […] The Clown Car Update for August 16, 2015 […]

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