Clown Car Update for May 17, 2010

Posted: May 17, 2015 in New Post

This week on Episode 335 of The Tim Corrimal Show, we have a riddle: What do Wal-Mart and Pope Francis have in common?  The answer will surprise you. They are both part of a world wide plot to support terrorists and impose Sharia Law on the United States. Crazy you say?  Only a lunatic would believe that you say?  Well, your right. It is crazy, and it is a lunatic who wants you to believe it. Who is this deranged individual you ask?  Well, none other than Florida’s most embarrassing export since leather skinned 80 year-olds,  Allen West.

If you remember, Florida, who has recently demonstrated a penchant for using elections to play practical jokes on the rest of the country, actually sent Allen West to Congress in 2010.  This alone is reason enough to put Ponce De Leon on a no-fly list.  But I digress.  Mr. West began the week by writing an article on his website entitled “Sharia Law Comes to Wal-Mart?”.  The inspiration for this article was…well let’s have Allen explain it in his own words:

There was a young man doing the checkout and another Wal-Mart employee came over and put up a sign, “No alcohol products in this lane.” So being the inquisitive fella I am, I used my additional set of eyes — glasses — to see the young checkout man’s name. Let me just say it was NOT “Steve.”

I pointed the sign out to [my daughter] Aubrey and her response was a simple question, how is it that this Muslim employee could refuse service to customers based on his religious beliefs, but Christians are being forced to participate in specific events contrary to their religious beliefs?

Boy howdy, that is one astute young lady.

Imagine that, this employee at Wal-Mart refused to just scan a bottle or container of an alcoholic beverage — and that is acceptable. A Christian business owner declines to participate or provide service to a specific event — a gay wedding — which contradicts their faith, and the State crushes them.

Of course! It all makes sense! Wal-Mart is already working with Obama to move an invasion force into Texas in tunnels under their empty stores, which will later be used as FEMA internment camps. The next logical step would naturally be the imposition of Sharia law, and where better to start than in Wal-Mart stores. They already are part of the conspiracy, can offer Muslims deep discounts on household items, and conveniently have their own pharmacies to sedate captured Americans. It all fits. Except for one little tiny detail. Upon further investigation, Allen discovered that “Steve”, the young terrorist working the checkout line, was a minor and prohibited by Florida state law  from selling alcoholic beverages. Allen later clarified the error, but still insisted that Christians were about to be thrown to the lions, only now they will have to face the lions sober.

Mr. West quickly recovered from that fiasco to uncover yet another plot, this time the center of it was none other than Pope Francis Obama.  You see, the Pope, recognizing his responsibility to help bring peace to all Christians , recognized Palestine as a state (and yes, there are Christians in Palestine).  Thursday Allen went on that bedrock of journalism, Newsmax, to declare:

This is horrific… At a time when Islamic terrorists are slaughtering Christians — Catholics — all over the Middle East, for the Pontiff to recognize a terrorists organization…This is unconscionable that he is doing that…

Unconscionable indeed! Where are the Papal F-15’s? What about the Holy See Blackhawk Helicopters? Where are the Holy Trinity Cluster bombs? Nowhere to be seen, because this pope is conspiring with Muslims and Obama to establish a caliphate that will dominate the world under one rule. And don’t say Allen West didn’t warn you if the next time you try to by cheap wine in a Wal-Mart, the pope doesn’t come out from behind the counter, strike you with a Qur’an and force feed you gay cake from their wonderful bakery department!

 

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