The Clown Car Update for March 8, 2015

Posted: March 8, 2015 in New Post

Call Ken Starr, get out the old blue dress, ring up Paula Jones because the 90’s are back. This week on Episode 325 of the Tim Corrimal Show there’s a Clinton threatening to run for president and that means the GOP Scandal Machine is back in business. And this week it spit out a scandal so damaging, so positively evil that finally the Clintons were ruined. Was Monica Lewinsky found at the bottom of the Clinton’s swimming pool? Did ISIS make a contribution to the Clinton Foundation? No, this week the media’s hair caught fire as the world learned that Hillary Clinton used email. Private email. So private that we don’t know what is in it, so it must be very bad. Was she selling arms to the Iranians? Was she selling state secrets to the Russians? Was she secretly posing as a Nigerian prince? We’ll never know because the Clintons are always hiding something, like Vince Foster’s body. But hang in there because the election cycle is just warming up and the Clinton scandal machine will be pumping them out faster than subpoenas from a Benghazi committee. Here then are the rumored scandals yet to be investigated:

  • Over a period of four years Hillary Clinton repeated violated the State Department’s ban on pant suits
  • She may have stolen towels and liquor from hotel rooms while on diplomatic missions
  • She repeatedly used Bill’s handicap placard in the State Department’s parking lot
  • Violating long standing rest room rules, she repeatedly used a personal hand soap instead of the one provided by the State Department.
  • She may have violated the rules covering the unauthorized use of the copy machine when planning Chelsae’s wedding
  • She repeatedly violated break room rules taking the last cup of coffee without making a new pot
  • She is suspected of  searching other State Department employees lunches for cookies
  • She violated State Department rules regarding eating at your desk
  • She used government computers to bid on eBay
  • After she left the state department a case of toilet paper was reported missing from the supply closet
  • She is suspected of using her government phone to make prank calls to Henry Kissinger

This is just a short list of the many revelations you will be hearing about in the months to come. You can find them in such prestigious sources as WorldNet Daily, The Drudge Report, Newsmax, the Fox News Channel, and any right wing nut with a computer. So pop your popcorn and lock up your daughters, folks, the Clintons are back!

 

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