The GOP Clown Car Update for February 22, 2015

Posted: February 22, 2015 in New Post

On Episode 323 of the Tim Corrimal Show, the Clown Car reminded us that more is not necessarily better because this week we were treated to the latest incarnation of the Bush Dynasty. For those of you who may not know, the Bush Dynasty is like the Duck Dynasty but with better hygiene.  Jeb Bush, moving ever closer to inflicting himself on America, felt the need this week to give us his vision for American foreign policy, which was less vision and more macular degeneration.  While attacking President Obama’s policies he also tried to distance himself from Bushes 41 and 43. “I’m my own man” he declared. Then the potential “Bush 45” named 19 of the previous Bush advisers  to his foreign policy team.

Now keep in mind, Jeb is touted to be the “smart Bush” which is sort of like saying that crabs are the good STD. And like crabs, Bushes keep multiplying and occupying an uncomfortable place in your life.  To demonstrate his mastery of the foreign policy thing, he warned on Wednesday that ISIS has 200,000 fighters on ground in Iraq and Syria, referred to Boko Haram as “Beau-coup Haram.”, and mixed up Iran and Iraq. Later his PR team clarified that the actual number of ISIS fighters is closer to 20,000, and Iran and Iraq both start with “I” and are easily confused by anyone looking at a globe for the first time. As far as “Beau-coup Haram”, the spin doctors reminded us that Jeb was speaking French and referring to the many harems in the Middle East.  And as far as ISIS, his solution would be to “take them out”. The vagueness of that approach left reporters wondering whether that meant killing them or dinner and a movie. If you are still a bit jittery about Bush 3, Jeb wants you to know that he is aware that “mistakes were made” in Iraq but would never repeat them because now he knows where to find the WMD’s. They are in North Korea. Are you feeling safer yet?

So how will his administration be different than that of the first two Bushes? First, he points out that his name is Jeb, not George. Second, in order to avoid unwanted media scrutiny, he will only invade countries on Superbowl Sunday during the half-time show. Third, he will never erect a “Mission Accomplished” banner until he’s out of office and a democrat actually finishes the mission.

All that’s left now is for Jeb to name Liz Cheney as his VP, which would add world class torture expertise to the foreign policy team. It will also allow him to avail himself of hundreds of thousands of old Bush/Cheney campaign buttons. Yes, Bush 3 has all the promise of Nightmare on Elm Street 3 with a familiar cast returning to haunt your dreams and bankrupt the country in the process. So when the GOP tries to tell you that this Bush is different than the last Bush, take a tip from Freddy Krueger and whatever you do, don’t fall asleep!

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