The Clown Car Update for February 8, 2015

Posted: February 8, 2015 in New Post

This week on Episode 321 of the Tim Corrimal Show we examine Sen. Thom Tillis of North Carolina and his idea of deregulating restaurants so they would not be required to have their employees wash their hands after bathroom visits. So our Clown Car food editor (me) thought he would review one of Sen. Tillis’ deregulated restaurants, The Free Market Café.

The Clown Car Deregulated Restaurant Review

While being greeted  by the maitre d’, I was impressed by the many odors emanating from the dining room. Reminiscent of newly fertilized corn fields, the aroma gave just a hint of the treat to come.

Now don’t let those grease stained overalls put you off, since The Free Market Café does not pay minimum wage, most of the wait staff work part time at the Jiffy Lube next door. But don’t worry, the service doesn’t suffer. Since The Free Market Café  is an unregulated restaurant, no one has to waste time washing their hands between oil changes or bathroom visits.

The waiter was quick to bring menus and take my drink order. Adding a clever touch, the menu has many samples of the its offerings stuck right to it. The wine list was superb, mixed from unfinished glasses from the night before and chilled in the original boxes. And the fingerprints and lipstick stains on the wine glasses just add to the homey charm.

I started with the “Clam Surprise” appetizer. It’s a plate of clams, some already eaten, but some with clams in them. Surprise! And the bread basket was a copious mixture of stale but still very chewable bread. Dip into the house mystery sauce and you have the perfect compliment to your meal.

My main course was the prime rib Au jus. For health purposes the menu recommends very, very well done.  And by the way, if you order meat or sea food that is more than 30 days expired, you get  a 50% discount. That’s the beauty of unregulated restaurants. The the health choices are yours, not Michelle Obama’s. And be sure to have the spoiled mixed vegetables as a side. You will hardly notice the mold, and the unique colors of rotting produce livens up the presentation.

(One slight negative note, the waiter did drop my prime rib on the floor on the way to the table. But to his credit he quickly picked it up and got it to the table before the rats got to it. He even offered to cut off the parts he stepped on.)

The best part of the night was the check. For less than $50.00 I was able to eat and have money left over for a stop at the emergency room. The Free Market Café  keeps prices low because the silverware is not washed between uses. By not employing kitchen staff at government mandated minimum wage, they can pass the savings on to you. You can bring your own silverware or use the house provided pre-used utensils. (Suggestion: Tip your waiter and he’ll wipe them down for you).

So whether out with friends or dining alone, The Free Market Café’s friendly atmosphere and proximity to one of the best poison control centers in North Carolina make it a must try for every culinary taste. One additional note, The Free Market Café asked me to remind anyone dining alone to be sure to inform your waiter of your emergency contacts. So enjoy the liberty of free market dining and as always, Bon Appetit!



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